Broken Walls
by fleetingthunder
Summary: She was the 104th squad's "lesbian". Everyone knows that. So why did she have to deal with this kind of problem? Beruyumi or Bertmir. OOC Ymir because of circumstances. Oneshot


**Author's note**: I wrote this just before midnight and I seriously haven't slept yet (it's 10:20 am here already). I just had to write a Beruyumi because they were honestly haunting me. Also, I just want to inform you readers that I used "Krista" instead of "Christa" plus I made use of Bertholdt's nickname "Bert" instead of "Bertl". I think that's just about all that I need to say. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Hajime Isayama owns everything. (I only own this clichéd storyline.)

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**Broken Walls**

No. This can't be happening. She shouldn't be feeling this way. She should've stopped it when she first felt it. It was a simple admiration of his nose. She was just joking when she said that his nose was cute. She didn't mean for that joke to make him blush. To make him adorably red and to make him do that tiny quirk his nose makes when he gets too shy.

She wasn't supposed to fall.

She'd been keeping away men by letting all people think she was a total lesbian. And she liked it that way. She wants to continue that way.

Her heart is too fickle, too frail. She'd always been traumatized by how her family broke so easily because of her father's betrayal.

She doesn't want to experience any kind of tragedy anymore.

The only thing that's been keeping her strong since she's entered the squad training was her friendship with Krista.

Krista was so very kind to her when they were assigned as roommates. The girl was talkative and very accommodating. She had an aura of a welcoming embrace. Maybe that's why almost every guy in the squad tried to get her attention at first.

If she hadn't noticed back then how the girl was breaking from so much tolerance of constant pestering by the guys, she wouldn't have thought of the very benefitting proposition that she laid out for Krista and herself.

Krista immediately agreed to pretend and give "hints" to the guys that they were "interested" with each other. Therefore, instilling the lesbian image in her (of course the guys denied the possibility of Krista being one, but they kept off of her anyways since they feared Ymir's "possessiveness").

It was most convenient. Ymir would stop the guys coming at her, especially those who she have noticed has been starting to make slight advances. And in time, it will also give her the space she needs to shy away from the feeling she feared the most. On the other hand, Krista will also have her share of peace from her aggressive suitors and admirers, giving her more time for important things like spending some quality time with Reiner, who she's started dating after a week or two of training.

Everything went well for the cover-up they made in the two months that passed after they'd made the pact. Until she slipped while she was talking with Bert.

No, she didn't spill the fact that she wasn't gay or that she was afraid to love. She just suddenly mentioned that she thought Bert's nose was cute.

It was after training, and they were having dinner. She, together with Bert, got hold up because of the additional task that were given to them at the last minute. That so, they arrived with almost all but one table occupied. They decided then, of course, to eat together.

It was a deafeningly silent meal, but Bert decided to start a conversation towards the end of it.

He asked about her life, interests, hobbies, and almost just about anything that would make a talk as casual as it could be.

She was getting too comfortable with it in fact. That is until he mentioned that she's got a really cute nose and that her freckles were making it more endearingly feminine.

She asked him, "Why the sudden topic?"

He only replied with a tiny smile at first, but followed up with a simple explanation that when he was a kid he was bullied for having a big nose.

"But it's okay now, I guess. Those were childish insecurities anyways," he added.

"I think you actually have a cute nose. It's perfectly manly and, if I may say, it's quite a kissable sight for me," her eyes widened upon realizing what she had just said.

Bert was blushing madly after her compliment, and he would've asked Ymir more about what she meant by that if he wasn't so speechless and if she didn't leave their table so fast after mumbling an, "I'm sorry. I think I need to leave now." and retreating to her room in haste.

She was as red as a tomato. She just knew it!

It was so hard to calm herself down after her exchange with Bert. Her heart was beating fast and blood was rushing on her head making her feel dizzy.

She heard the door of the room open.

"Why are you so red, Ymir? Are you okay? Do you have a fever?" Krista asked.

"No. I'm okay. I'm completely fine."

Being suspicious, Krista put her hand on her temple and said, "That's weird, I thought you were so red. Maybe you're just tired. I think you should sleep already."

"I'll do that. I'm just going to get ready for bed."

With that, Ymir retreated to the bathroom with a still pounding heart.

The next few days, she tried to avoid Bert as much as possible.

The days turned into months, and she was relieved that Bert never did bother her after their last conversation.

Things would've been the same if not for that one time Krista pulled her into a game of truth or dare together with the other squad members.

She was anxious that Krista would start suspecting her odd behavior if she didn't join in so she hesitantly accepted the invitation even though she knew Bert would be there.

She figured, maybe the months away from him would have made her immune to whatever feeling he teased out of her.

She sat with the others and looked at the people sitting in the circle. She saw Bert in her peripheral vision and tried to avoid meeting her eyes with his.

The squad members started on the game. After an hour or so, many have already been called out to do their truths or dares but never once was she called out to her relief.

The bottle was spun once again and when it stopped the butt of the bottle pointed towards her, which meant that the person right across would be the one asked next.

She gulped. Bert was the person who's right in front of her.

She knew it was pointless to keep being on edge. "The game can't cause me any harm, right?" she thought nervously.

Ymir tried to keep a straight indifferent face and forced her eyes to look at Bert so she would look interested with the game and blend in with the others.

"So Bert, is it a truth or a dare?" Connie asked him slyly.

"Dare." he answered.

"Okay. Let me see... Yeah! Why don't you kiss Ymir?"

"Is that okay, Ymir?" Bert asked her trying to keep a straight face, his timidity was showing while Connie and the other guys were already howling with laughter.

"Of course it's okay, man. It's only a game. Right, Ymir?" Jean said coarsely, giving no chance for Ymir to speak out her protests. He took his rashness further by pulling Bert up and pushing him rather harshly to where the dark-haired 'lesbian' sat. All the while laughing his annoyingly raucous laughter.

Bert started to lean down slowly and met Ymir's eyes with an apologetic look.

The freckled woman's feelings became shaken. She was unstable, sweat was forming on her temples and her hands were getting clammy.

Just before his lips smacked lightly on hers, Bert saw a tear drop down on one of her cheeks. Bert would've stopped before their lips touched if he was only fast enough to see the indication of hurt on her golden orbs before he started leaning in.

Nobody noticed how Bert felt guilty after returning to his place in the circle. Nobody noticed how Ymir stayed for only a little bit more after she'd been kissed. Nobody noticed how she walked away from the group dejectedly after excusing herself.

Nobody noticed tears fall down her face...but Bert.

She heard footsteps following behind. She was afraid someone would see her vulnerable state so she hastened her pace. The Ymir who was strong, who was independent, who was always in control was the image she had built and the image she wants to live with. She will not break in front of someone. No one should see her weak. No one would see her weak.

Reaching her room, she was relieved that she would be in the safety of her room in a matter of seconds. She had open a sliver of space enough for her to slip in when-

"Ymir?"

She paused and convinced herself not to turn around else she might break.

"What it is Bert? I want to rest now so can't you just leave?"

"Ymir, I just want to say I'm sorry. I know it was just a game but I thought I might have hurt you."

With her hand held tight on the knob of the door to prevent her shaking, Ymir stepped in her room with a soft laugh. She turned around to face Bert with an unaffected demeanor, but Bert's worried look shook her out of the act.

"You don't need to apologize, Bert. It's just a game. I-it's just a petty game anyways."

She was terrified when her voice broke midway. She was so torn up. Doom was approaching her.

Her dam of emotions reached its limit, and tears flowed down her face.

Bert reached up to her. Trying to wipe her tears away and caressing her at the same time. "She's so beautiful. She doesn't deserve to be this miserable," he thought.

"Ymir, what's bothering you? I mean, I know you're not one to break easily. You're keeping something to yourself, aren't you?"

Tears continued to fall down from Ymir's eyes while she tried to gather up the courage to talk. She choked back her tears and finally she was able to find words in the haze. "I just don't know anymore, Bert! I've been avoiding you for months, and I've been convincing myself that I wasn't falling for you. I've been beginning to think I was getting successful but this had to happen!"

Ymir thrashed her arms on Bert's chest, her tears dampening the front of his shirt.

"This shouldn't have hurt me, Bert! I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you! I wasn't supposed to like every little thing I noticed about you!"

"Ymir! Stop." He held both Ymir's hands that were hitting him and pinned them to her sides wrapping his arms around her.

"Ymir, I love you too. I've liked you since the first days of our training. I've liked everything about you the moment I've learned of it," tears fell down on his face as he confessed his affections.

Silence enveloped the two as they both tried to soothe their manic emotions.

When Bert felt Ymir's stiffness had gone from her body, he slipped his left arm on her waist and the other on her cheek.

He bent down to kiss her, tasting the saltiness of their tears. He moved his hand down to her neck, cradling it in a soft grip when he felt her responding.

In the midst of their bittersweet kiss, Ymir's knees suddenly buckled. It was a relief she was in his embrace so he was able to catch her with ease and was able to pull her up immediately supporting her better with his two hands.

"You're exhausted, Ymir. Let's sit you on your bed first." She agreed with a small up and down motion of her head.

Bert held her as he guided her inside the room. He sat her down on the edge of the bed and removed her boots so she can fully lie down.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"I mean, I can accompany you while you try to get some sleep. I know how hard it is to sleep when you're mind is so exhausted." Bert added to clear up his intentions.

Ymir acquiesced with a light "Uhn." while forming a fetus position. She was so drained from the storm of emotions and the overpowering stress that she talked no more and did not protest when her raven-haired companion lifted her head up to put it on his lap.

She shifted on the bed once again when she felt a muscle getting stiff and moved herself to a half sitting position, her head pillowing on Bert's chest.

Bert gathered up the courage to circle his hands below Ymir's chest and held her better to make their position more comfortable.

She fell asleep on his arms after a few minutes and Bert followed after feeling his own fatigue.

The next day, they woke up tangled with each other's limbs. Bert shifted awake first but Ymir also rose into consciousness after feeling an unintentional tug on her own limbs.

Seconds passed before they became sober. Tints of red lining their cheeks as they come to a realization of what had happened last night.

When Ymir realized that Krista might have walked in on them like this the night before, she checked the bed a feet away from hers and heaved a big sigh of relief after finding the bed still neat as Krista leaves it when she stays overnight at Reiner's room.

Ymir started pushing herself off of Bert. But the usually shy guy had startled her by holding her tighter around the waist and burying himself deeper on the valley of her chest.

"I never mentioned that I trusted you already, you know?" Ymir stated as she tried to pry him off of her again.

Bert looked up to her. "I know that. That's why I want to earn it. I'm going to court you from now on, Ymir. I might not look like it but I want to wait for you. I know you're still bottling up so many things. But I want you to open up to me voluntarily."

"-Though now I know I have a greater chance on you because you've just confessed to me last night, too." he added while hiding his face on her chest once again as his face turned a deeper shade of red.

"You know, for someone who wants to earn my trust... you sure are getting too comfy on my chest." She grabbed his face and pushed it away but he was too stubborn to move.

Ignoring the pout adorning his face, Ymir tried pushing him away again by scooping his face off of her chest and kicking her legs so that even his lower limbs will untangle from her. She was succesful on shoving him off when she did one sharp kick, which threw him out of the bed.

Bert huffed and groaned.

Peering on the edge, Ymir looked at Bert.

"I definitely know you're okay now, Ymir. But you didn't need to actually demonstrate it enthusiastically. Did you really have to kick me so hard? Down there, even. Of all places you had to choose...ugh." Bert rocked himself on the floor to ease his pain.

"You've just sealed your fate with me, Ymir. I swear, I'll make you realize how much pain this is when we get married."

Bert's threat were proven ineffective both because of his poor speech delivery with tears rolling down his eyes and pain choking down his words and partly because Ymir was amazingly still clueless of what he meant, too.

When pieces of the puzzle clicked, and realization dawned on Ymir, with a rich hue of red creeping on her face, her conclusion was only confirmed when Bert grabbed his bruised jewels in pain.


End file.
